Yes, friends, it's all true -- we proclaim this knot tied! Defying lessons of history, pleas of the lovelorn, and plain ol' conventional wisdom, yer own Aaron Jarvis and Terran McCanna have gotten hitched up once and for all, and we got the pix to prove it! As ya know, there'd been talk, rumor, and innuendo bandied about for several seasons of the two of us finally makin' it legal, but our simultaneous ambition and poverty made our projected local festivities pretty much impractical -- and after alla this, the last thing we wanted was an anticlimactic launch to this matrimonial jazz. The solution emerged in a fit of Eureka while plotting out the Mondellos' mini-tour of the South, which in turn would segue into several days of patronizing the Ponderosa Stomp in Memphis, TN. Two little words: eeeeeee-lope!!!

wedding39And thus, reet on schedule, Winter Park's Red Menace and Yellow Peril joined rings & credit ratings in lawful matrimony on Tuesday, May 9th, in a secret underground ceremony (literally!) in the mysterious Crystal Shrine Grotto in Memphis' Memorial Park Cemetary, officiated by none other than Thee Most Reverend Brian Maguire! Witnessed by fellow Stompsters Tommy Rotten and Nancy Mae of Lake Priceless, Dennie and Charles Monarchy of Jaxville, and the sobbing mother & sister of the groom, it was a fitting farewell to four decades of bachelorhood for the Big A.

Not that there weren't, eh, wrenches in the machinery. Awkward indeed was the unexpected arrival of some five dozen Seminary students on some sort of field trip, especially when it looked like Aaron's mom was about to punch out their bewildered chaperone. No sooner had they cleared out than the bridal party drops the bombshell that, um, the florist supplying the bridal flora was closed for lunch when they swung by! Not to worry -- the ever-resourceful groom "borrowed" an arrangement from one of the park's bereaved. (Note: this is not the first time such a thing has happened in Aaron's family...) Not to worry, said arrangement was graciously returned to its rightful host after the ceremony with expressions of thanks. No jinxes here, unless you count... well, never mind...

The furious Memphis sky held back its wrath just long enough to allow the party to take shelter inside the nearby Blue Plate Cafe, where we all ate like idiots while the outside world washed away. The true sign from above came piped through the Men's Room, where the Trashmen's "Surfin' Bird" became the official first song heard on the soundtrack to the rest of our lives. If any brighter harbinger of swingin' times to come exists, I don't wanna see it!

Post-nuptial cocktails & wedding cake were served in the Jungle Room of Elvis Presley's Heartbreak Hotel across from Graceland, and the revelry concluded at that evening's installment of the Ponderosa Stomp. The coup de grace came with the command performance of Aaron's idol Arch Hall, Jr. and the Archers, who was swell enough to pose for a shot & gave his greatest wishes to the tipsy twosome. And in addition to "Surfin' Bird", we have two additional contenders to the title of Official Wedding Song of McCanna/Jarvis Manor: the couple's first slow dance to Herb Remington's transcendent rendition of "Sleepwalk" (guaranteed to turn on the waterworks for the groom's mom), and the Archers' "Yes I Will", to which Kickstress Miriam Linna rightly declared, "Now this'll' always be your song!" You bet it will! And on top o' that, the aforementioned "flower issue" was resolved when members of the wedding party purchased some lovely petals from an enterprising, um "man of the streets"!

And thusward it is done. Our only regret is that our most beloved Dobie couldn't be with us long enough to be a part of this (the ceremony was dedicated to him and his memory -- and it's a cinch Aaron never woulda landed Terran without Dobie's charm on his side!). Sorry y'all couldn't be there, too, but heck, ya wouldn'ta believed it even if ya HAD seen it...

Pix? Oh, there's lotsa pix from the whole affair, but we're still trying to get things in some semblance in order (I caught one real gnarly cold on our last day in Memphis, and am only marginally cognizant of anything right now, so don't expect much o' me anytime soon -- it's fer sure Terran doesn't!). Thanx to the wonders of Photoshop's automization features, we've got a very, very rudimentary photo album up right here, albeit without any kinda color commentary or context whatsoever. Use yer imagination, Eisenstein... We'll fill in the blanks sooner or later -- right now, the honeymoon's goin' on, and on, and on'...

(UPDATE! Terran has since posted a more comprehensive and sober account of the nuptials and accompanying hullabaloo -- dig the action reet here at for mucho moro)


-- Aaron & Terran